Lets face it, most of us aren't equipped to mash with the spring break crowd, our skin is too pallid, our eyes are too sunken, we look ridiculous in flip-flops, most of us don't own a Corona t-shirt. I don't think there's such a thing as “punk rock swim trunks,” and we're all too frugal to pour beer on our heads. So, it's perfect that Florida's Dying's WET T-SHIRT WILD WEEKEND is set in Orlando, where only the occasional geography flunky co-eds pop down for a disappointing visit to the shoreless, schmaltzy theme park jungle. As a record label, Florida's Dying, seems to have built an OZ of underground music, seething with all kinds weird, on-edge rock'n'roll acts that might have slipped through the cracks for the rest of us without the label to spotlight them. Bands like Jeanie and the Tits, the belligerent and scruffy Fashion! Fashion! and the Image Boys, and the curdled and retarded F-Pipes, all three from Orlando, and all three are playing the event this weekend, and all certainly fall under the crony umbrella of Florida's Dying. The label's grasp goes far beyond the inland city to include other Florida acts like The Electric Bunnies and the errant, bedroom psychedelic two-piece Jacuzzi Boys, both from Miami, and both playing the festival this weekend.
As far as a weekend festival goes, the WET T-SHIRT WILD WEEKEND seems to be perfect. With a title that has a dash of sexual innuendo and a splash of mystery, a line up that features a full spectrum of musical styles without a single dud in the entire pack, and a city that offers tons of other interesting to-do's outside of the festival itself. You could slip into those cargo shorts and sun visor and take a short jaunt down to Gatorland, a 100-acre alligator refuge with an enormous agape gator mouth as an entrance. You'll feel like the protagonist in some sort of Japanese lizard-monster flick just stepping into the place. Later that evening, still under the adrenaline spell from the theme parks, you can catch the swampy desert mindfuckery of Haunted George playing the headlining spot at Back Booth. If you're smart enough, you'll get there early and catch the acidic, thorny pop of The Carbonas, Live Fast Die and the Creteens play the same show. I know, it sounds too good to be true, but the shit is going down with or without you.
The next day why not get up early to buzz down to the Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum, or go try and pick up some local girls over at one of the many water parks? I'll bet they don't kick people out anymore for peeing down the slides. Just be sure you catch the day show featuring Frantic Attaque from Atlanta, and the necessary cheese of Chicago's Johnny and the Limelites. There will also be a PARTY BUS available for the cost of 5 dollars to the festival attendees that will shuttle you from the day show events at Colonial Lanes Lounge to the Copper Rocket to catch the amazing line up the night show features. The idea of catching Dan Melchior, the macabre backwoods Glue Wave of Wizzard Sleeve, the adroit twang of Thomas Function, and the perfectly retarded bubbles of Hibachi Stranglers all at the same watering hole, in the same night is a lofty expectation, but it's really happening.
If you survive the Friday and Saturday shows, Sunday is set-up to be quite a banger. First, a BBQ to kick off the day. Then, it might be a good idea hit the one of the many theme parks, and get your soul sucked out of you and replaced with some kitschy mouse ears at Magic Kingdom or Epcot. Then, when you're done rolling around on the bottom of the commercialized shitcake of theme parks, pack on the glories of public drunkenness at the Wild Weekend closing show with The Fe Fi Fo Fums, the Texan troubadours of lo-fi armpit farting, The Wax Museums, and the sweet pop tenderness of Gentleman Jesse and his Men. You can check the complete line-up in our Orlando listings and you can still get tickets for the event HERE. It's not too late!
check out a Haunted George video clip right here...
